Our place in others’ lives depends on
- where they place us, and
- the purpose they allow us to serve
Our place is their choice. This place and this purpose, based on their choice, may not agree with God’s plan for the relationship.
MY PLACE IN OTHERS’ LIFE IS RULED BY THEIR CHOICE.
Our place in others’ lives may not align with our desire or vision for the relationship…ANY relationship. We can potentially make positive impacts in others’ lives, but only with their permission.
I pray I can save you some time this year managing emotions, energy, expectations, and responses. Know your place. Do not force what others will not allow…even when a clear word from the Father is present. Respect the boundaries.
This is our contribution to our emotional health. Passive aggression is not our friend ever, but especially this year. You know, the start-stop antics of those who pull us close then push us away. Do not chase. Respect the boundary they set, even when it is ill-placed.
Last year I had a revelatory moment. After months of relationship building with a sister in the faith, and the acknowledgement of a developing friendship, in a nonreligious social setting she showed me where she placed me. I was hurt, but I had to adjust. I had to fight through the questions about myself (Did I offend? Was I not likeable/lovable?) and accept her choice. I learned my own power in relationships, and realized the importance of placement.
How do we know our place? There are cues, Gifted Girl. Real cues to clue us in…and it is not for the “everybody-can’t-go-with-you” rhetoric we hear from today’s religious spirits. The purpose of this awareness is better self-government for more efficient service.
Why try to perform for first place if it’s taken? (SELAH.)
Here are a few ways we can know our place in others’ lives.
- What they say in jest… The truth comes out in jokes or light social settings. Pay attention.
- What they withhold… Notice what areas of their lives are off the table, things they do not share.
- When they initiate contact… Under what circumstances do they express need of us?
- How they respond when we try to build relationship beyond superficial things…
When we know our place, we operate with sober love in relationships. Also, we value more highly the presence of agreement and alignment when
- We see what the Lord said, and
- They see what the Lord said, and
- We mutually agree to walk out what the Lord said.
No mysteries. No suspicion. No false discerning. Just clarity.
Love you Gifted Girl… May the weight we carry this year be the Lord’s burdens alone.