I knew people for whom I did nothing right. They criticized constantly and “suggested” over and again that I change…to someone I was not. It drained me of life and strength and a healthy self-image. They claimed love, or strong like at best, yet they felt compelled to make me into the closest version of the trophy (the model, the perfection) in their subjective heads. It tortured me; I questioned the best things about me because… Well, one day I realized I had no good reason. I followed along like a wounded pet and then realized the pattern and the lesson that
MY OPTIMISTIC LOYALTY TO ONE WHO WASN’T CHANGING SLOWLY KILLED ME and I was
In other words, my skewed views about love and life as well as my struggle with the loneliness attached to my call convinced me no other options existed.
So I prayed.
And the Father dealt with my heart. He showed me things and became my glory. He lifted my head.
Then I prayed again. I asked for people in my life who feared pride more than humility and dared to love radically. I wanted people around smarter and different from me, who forced increase in my life.
Today, I know people with whom I can BE. They challenge without God complexes and teach me about love’s height, depth, length and width. They hold me accountable and help me smile. (Y’all do know we are kinda serious, right?!) They show love. They inspire the “I-can-do-anything” attitude. They affirm my best and cover my worst as long I acknowledge and work on improvements. They break the bondage of soul and spirit.
And let go of death.
Choose life, and the abundance it brings.
I know this is kinda poetic, but it’s sincere.
Wait no more. Embrace the life givers without fear. Let’s enjoy life. It’s part of purpose as well.
Love you all to LIFE.