Good day, my sister 20-somethings!

Just a thought to consider… always be aware of the investment you make in people, places and things. In the last few days I gained some understanding about a few experiences and it prompted me to consider the evenness of mutual investment.

Am I doing… giving… caring… sharing too much? (and “they/it” too little?)

Do they respond in like manner when I have a need or concern?

Are we both doing our part?

Example #1: I was on a phone call with a lady who OFTEN takes to call and vent and pull on me for answers. She ended the call abruptly when I started answering her questions about how I’m doing. I was sharing, and she ended the call.

Example #2: On social media I read an impacting statement — that a person’s mentors should be the first to offer aid (and follow through) in any venture the mentor attempts. Isn’t that powerful? It is right to help the one who helps you… and be prompt about it. 

Example #3: I have a person who calls me a good and trusted friend, but who only reaches out to get more ideas for his full plate. 

Royal Ones, these are just a few of the ways we can see where we need our sound minds to 1) see a thing and 2) decide on the proper response. 

Am I suggesting you close yourself off and be (or try to be) an island unto yourself? Definitely not! It doesn’t work anyway. 

What I am suggesting is that you prayerfully consider the value of your pearls. We tend to tie our love to our levels of investment, but that is not necessarily so. It is possible to sincerely love people for whom you cannot afford (emotionally or financially or in other ways) to keep investing and live fruitfully.

The real point of consideration is on your expectations. There must be:

  1. people we glean from;
  2. people who glean from us;
  3. people to whom we give freely who cannot pay us back; and
  4. people for whom we prove ourselves to merit promotion and increase.

Enter and navigate all your relationships with your eyes open. Do not exhaust yourself for people who neither have care nor energy to reciprocate. Get off the squeaky hamster’s wheel of doing, doing, and more doing only to get nothing substantial in return. 

It is not a good thing that everyone benefits from you, but you. It is not a good thing that you cannot “collect” from your relationships sometimes. This is not about being a giver or a taker; this is all about recognizing mutual investment. If both sides do their part, then the result is life-giving. 

But, don’t be a life-giver and die. Selah.

Take courage, and keep assessing. Your 30s will thank you. 

Love to all. 

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